In a Slump...

I have noticed that it is difficult to keep things going, not because they are not important enough, but because sometimes there is just a natural slump. For instance, I play on a co-ed softball team and for the life of me, I cannot seem to bat well; I may hit the ball poorly or even swing and miss. It's been a while, but this season, I cannot seem to get on base.

Some other slumps? Well, I haven't been so great about my training for the Las Vegas Half Marathon in November or updating my blog about the meals I cook and the events in my life, even though I cook about 3 meals (most new) per week and stay busy. Or writing down my Sito's family recipes or typing up my stories.

There are so many things that I want to accomplish - why is it sometimes so hard to achieve? In my case, it can sometimes be related to what completing a certain task will mean. Possibly a struggle with saying "good-bye" or maybe a feeling of insecurity. At the end of the day though, when I feel that nagging guilt, it's mostly because I am concerned about others' view of me and what I am doing.

I spent an amazing weekend with some girlfriends from high school - spending time with these girls helps me to gain perspective; these ladies know me from elementary, middle, and high school. I have absolutely grown since my childhood and teenage years. Understandably, back when these girls first knew me, I was still working on figuring myself out. Let's be honest, I still am, as are most people; life is a continual learning experience. However, when I find myself wondering what people are thinking of me or realizing that I feel guilty because I may not be living up to others' expectations of me, I think back to one of my favorite quotes ever:

 

People are often unreasonable and self-centered.

Forgive them anyway.

 

If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives.

Be kind anyway.

 

IF you are honest, people may cheat you.

Be honest anyway.

 

If you find happiness, people may be jealous.

Be happy anyway.

 

The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow.

Do good anyway.

 

Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough.

Give your best anyway.

 

For you see, in the end, it is between you and God.

It never was between you and them anyway.

-Mother Teresa

 

 

As I said, I do not think that any of us are completely self-aware; however, I strive to improve my self-awareness. Realizing that I am trying to please others instead of trying to please myself and enjoy life to my fullest is what I tend to do, whether I am having a proud moment or holding on too tightly to my ego.

 

In times like these, I try to remind myself to let go of my pride, let go of my ego, because in the end it isn't about others. It's about me and my path before I meet my maker. Yes, I love my friends and family; I would give anything to help any one of them. I also hope to help others (acquaintances, strangers, mankind, animals, nature, etc.) to the best of my ability. However, it is important to not lose myself through my journey.

 

So, what is a slump? For me, it is when I realize I am holding on too tightly to my pride and ego, rather than enjoying everything I can about my life. My goal today, this week, this month is: let go and let God. This is how I will get through my slump and enjoy happiness - stop comparing myself to others or worrying about their expectations. Be myself, try my best and love as much as I can. I feel happier already!